Will I always be a little late posting these now? Yes. That’s just who I am as a person. Does that stop me from getting excited to talk about a beautiful bottle episode chapter in which Gansey, Ronan, and Noah terrorize a dollar store cashier? No, of course not.
Last chapter, Adam and Blue had a fight and then Cabeswater sent Adam an image. For this new scene, we’re teleported to Dollar City, where Gansey receives a phone call. Southern dollar stores have such a distinct aura to them. I’m not sure how to describe it, but I’ve spent enough time messing around in Dollar Generals in South Carolina looking for the perfect thing to spend my single dollar bill on to know it’s something else. Our boys and their slightly domesticated bird definitely belong there, that’s all I have to say.
We’re given a beautiful portrait of all the things you can buy at this Dollar City: animal shaped erasers, notebooks with guns on them, a clock shaped like a turkey (upon discovery, Gansey says “mon dieu” and it’s probably the worst thing he’s ever said).
But the whole reason they’re in the store is because Ronan’s angry and this is how to distract him. The only problem is that now Gansey’s on the phone and all that does is stoke Ronan’s anger:
But tonight, under the fluorescent lights of Dollar City, Gansey’s hair was scuffed and his cargo shorts were a greasy ruin from mucking over the Pig. He was barelegged and sockless in his boat shoes and very clearly a real human, an attainable human, and this, somehow, made Ronan want to smash his fist through a wall.
Like okay, I get it, we’re all in love with Gansey and need his OOTDs and want him to kiss us all the time… stop being so mad about it.
We spend a lot of time alternating between Ronan eavesdropping on the Gansey side of the phone conversation and musing about Kavinsky or longing to go back to the Barns and be with his family. The only thing that can break that spell is Noah, appearing with a snow globe full of glitter like a ghost in shining armor.
And then, a revelation: remember how Adam’s rent got changed to reflect exactly the raising of his tuition? And how he immediately blamed Gansey, and was so mad about it? Yeah, it was Ronan.
If Adam had been thinking straight, though, he would’ve considered how it was Ronan who had infinite connections to St. Agnes. And how whoever was behind the rent change would have had to enter a church office with both a wad of cash and a burning intention to persuade a church lady to lie about a fake tax assessment. Taken apart this way, in seemed to have Ronan written all over it. But one of the marvelous things about being Ronan Lynch was that no one ever expected him to do anything nice for anyone.
The emotional ramifications of this admission are cleverly avoided when Noah blinks out of existence, dropping the glitter filled snow globe and freaking everyone out in the process. He reemerges from the void quickly enough, grabbing onto Ronan and using all his body heat as energy. Ghost Noah is always to chill and cuddly that it’s easy to forget he’s the spirit of a murder victim and therefore inherently unpredictable.
Noah’s explanation is that they ley line just disappeared. The apparition Adam saw in his apartment corroborates that story: something funky is going on. And then, in classic Stiefvater ending, Noah tells Ronan he knows where the anger comes from, and when Ronan asks what he knows Noah is like “it’s not my job to tell other people’s secrets” which, like, okay I guess? But it’s such an annoying way to end a chapter because it’s just not addressed and is also very frustrating. The end.
Thoughts and Feelings:
I’ve come to the conclusion that I love this chapter’s ambiance but I don’t necessarily like its contents. I love the idea of the Gangsey in a dollar store just messing around while the clerk wonders why the hell they brought a raven pretending to be a pet, but the reality of it—the ley line disappearing and the fact that they’re always being so weird about Adam—makes the whole scene less enjoyable than you think it would be.
Like, okay, let’s talk about Adam. Every single time he’s mentioned in a scene, whoever’s point of view it is dedicates at least a paragraph to talking about how different he is after the sacrifice. How he’s something “other,” that they don’t know how to deal with anymore. First of all, did they ever know how to deal with Adam? They treated him like just as much of a mystery in the first book, and there wasn’t even a dream forest in the equation. Secondly, so what if he’s different than everyone else? Ronan pulls things out of his dreams, Blue is a human battery, Gansey died and came back to life, and Noah died and is still dead. But yeah, sure, I’ll believe that Adam’s the one who just doesn’t fit in anymore.
I don’t know why it makes me so frustrated. Actually, yeah, I do know why. It’s because it’s chapter nine and we’re still sitting around talking about how we don’t understand what’s going on with Adam yet, meanwhile not once have they gone to Cabeswater and, I don’t know, asked. We get the feeling that it’s been weeks since the bargain was made, and yet nobody seems interested in doing anything but speculating about it.
But I’m tired of being indignant, so I want to end on some happy feelings: the warm and fuzzies I got when Noah held up the glitter snow globe to Ronan and everyone looked at it in wonder. Thank you and good night.
Best Character Moment:
Noah made a rude gesture, a hilariously unthreatening act coming from him, like a growl from a kitten.
Best Turn of Phrase:
Chainsaw let out a terrible creaking sound.
She cried, “Kerah!”
He laid a frozen hand over her head, comforting her, though he was not comforted.
Action: Absolutely none, unless you count dropping a snow globe. 3/10
Magic: Noah, being both a real boy and a ghost, all in the same chapter? Amazing. 10/10
Comic Relief: Also Noah- amazing!!!! 12/10!!!!!!!!